How To Give Your New Job a Fresh Start

Starting a new job can be stressful and it can also be exciting. There are many reasons people leave a job and go to another one, but no matter what job you start it is always the same, a fresh start. Maybe you wanted to leave your job because you felt under appreciated, someone kept trying to take your job, people were mean to you, you didn’t know how to do the job, it was to much stress, but no matter the reason you need to go into the new job with a fresh start in mind. Sometimes you don’t leave the company, but just changed departments or maybe you stayed in the same department, but you have a new role in the company. No matter what the situation is, you still need to look at it as a fresh start.

How to give your new job a fresh start:

  • Leave any negativity behind. By brining old drama to the new job you block your creativity and thoughts for the new one, because you will only focus on the negativity of the old. If the reason you left your old job was because of negativity then thinking about that still will mean that you didn’t really leave your old job, it is still with you.
  • Leave any frustrations behind. If there was something that was frustrating about your job before then you need to address what that was and make sure you do not do the same things in your new job. This is an opportunity to put those frustrations aside and go forward. If the frustrations are something that can be corrected then this is the time to do it.
  • Be positive!! I can not stress the importance of this one. No matter how your day is going be positive. A negative mind will ruin your job before it starts. Whatever issues that you had with the old job this is the time to fix them in yourself. A negative mind will only see the bad in things. When you remain positive you do not have stress. If you keep thinking that things will work out then they will. That is the same if you think things are going to fail, they will. Go into the job saying to yourself that you will be successful! You will do an amazing job!
  • Reflect on yourself. This is something that we all should do more often. It is an amazing thing when you can look at yourself and realize that you can do something better. Look at what you did great in your past job and look at what you might have failed in your last job. Now are there things that you could have done differently to change the outcome? Use that to be more successful in your new job. Make sure to take the things that you do really well to your next job. Sometimes we focus to much on what we need to do better that we forget to strengthen what we do well. If you focus on the things you do well, you will do them even better.
  • Have fun!! If you are going to a new company you will be meeting all new people. Make new friends and develop those relationships. We can learn so much from other people if we just take our pride out of the equation and listen. Use that to your advantage. There will be new restaurants that you can try for lunch. Maybe you will find a food that you had never tried and end up loving it. Learn new things. Not every job is the same and we should constantly be learning new things. You spend more time with your co-workers than you do your own family sometimes so why not make it a fun environment to work.
  • Remember nothing is permanent. This is not to scare you, but rather to say that if things are not going well that you are not stuck. You do not have to stay in a place that is draining you. On the other hand if you do love your new job, remember that there is always someone who will want to take your job. Do not dwell on that fact, but make sure you are on top of your game. Everyone has ups and downs, but as long as you are still engaged in your job you will be find.
  • Create balance in your life. Starting a new job can take a lot of your time at first while you get settled in, but remember that you do not live to work. You work to live. Remember that you have a personal life that also needs attention. Sometimes we get so focused on our professional lives that we forget to take care of our personal lives. Finding that balance can be hard, but if we are actively trying to get/maintain that balance then we will be more successful. Work hard and play hard. What is the point in killing yourself at work if you do not get to enjoy the spoils of your labor. Remember you matter to.

I am practicing all of this as well. I didn’t leave my company so some of these points are harder for me than if I did leave, but I am making an active effort for myself. I need to follow these “rules” in order to give myself the opportunity to be successful.

Remember if your dreams do not scare you, then they are not big enough. If you are thinking about taking a leap and going after a new job, I say do it! You got this! Go out into that world and show it how amazing you are!

Welcome Back!

Sorry it has been a while. So much has gone on and I have learned so much about myself in that time. So where to begin………

Holidays are a time to spend with your family and friends. What I didn’t realize was that it could also be a time to self reflect and take an honest look at your situation. I ended up doing this without even realizing it. It can be a hard thing to sit down and ask yourself if you are happy. It could be happy in your personal life or happy in your professional life. I am very happy in my personal life, but I didn’t realize that as time has gone on I have been growing more and more unhappy in my professional life. You may be thinking “how would you not realize you were unhappy at work?”. That is a great question and I look at it like weight gain. When you start gaining weight it is slow and you may not notice it until one day your pants are really tight and you have to go out and get a bigger size. That is how it was for me. There were days that I got irritated, but I would brush it off as a bad day.

I took some time off for the holidays and during that time I spent a lot of time thinking about my job and how I felt in it. I found out that I let certain situations affect how I was professionally. I noticed that professionally I had regressed instead of growing. My guest service had gone down, where I didn’t even want to deal with people. That is not the person that I am. Before this I was the person who went out of their way to help people. The culture in my office was negative and I let myself fall into that frame of mind. Outside of work people would say that I am a very positive person, but at work I was negative about everything. I started being more vocal about things that I didn’t like. How did I get to this point?

In April 2017 I had hip replacement surgery. Before this time I was happy at work. I would wake up excited to go to work. After I came back from my surgery things changed. While I was out my assistant was assisting with some of my tasks, but when I came back I did not get those items back. Now I had less things to do for my job and started to feel out of place. I was told that my role in the company would change and that I would get a new title and a new job description. I waited two months and still had not heard any updated. At that point I reached out to see if that was still happening and was told that they were working on the job description and that I would get it when it was done. Another month after that I was told the job description was done, but not the title. When they finally decided on a title and presented it to me I was not happy about it because it was a step down from what I was doing, yet the amount of work was more than what I was doing. After discussions we all finally agreed on a title that worked for everyone. There were things in the job description that I was not doing before and we were going to discuss how we wanted things rolled out. Well months went by and there was not discussion about it. My title was changed, but my work had not. I was increasingly feeling more and more lost. I felt like I didn’t really have a place in the company and when I asked for more to do and a more defined role I kept being told they would get to it, but they were busy. As time went on the person above me no longer seemed to care about their job and were looking to leave. I ended up taking up the slack they they were letting fall. My role in the company ended up becoming a catch all. Basically if something needed to be done the attitude was “oh Crystal can do that”. That is not a good place to be in.

The holiday was a good break away from everything to take a look from the outside to see what was going on. I found out that I no longer wanted to be in that environment. We ended up getting someone to replace the person above me and this person had a lot that I could learn from. I started to get excited about my job again. Then that person was going to leave because of the culture in the company. Now I was ready to leave. Then something I never thought would happen, the company decided to change the culture and make it positive. I was now going to be given a new role in the company and because of that I got excited again.

I was excited, but I noticed that I would get irritated about things that would not normally affect me. Well I have come to realize maybe I can not let what I went through go quite as easily as I thought I could. This is something I need to deal with. I am still working on that for myself, but I have decided that I have the power to not let a company culture change the person I want to be.

This leads me to where I am now. I am excited about my new role, but I do still have a feeling of unease. I need to continue to work through that and figure out the true issues I am holding onto and learn how to let them go. If I can not do that then I need to do what is best for myself and for the company and that would be to leave. That is not the direction I want to go, but I need to check myself.

This blog will now have two parts to it. I will continue to write about life advise. Now though I have the opportunity to share my experience with starting a new job that I have not done before. I would say that I do not have the job knowledge to do my job, but I do have the skills to learn this job and to succeed in this job. I am now the Event Sales and Marketing Manager for my company. I will distinguish the life advise posts and the sales and marketing posts so that if you are not interested in both of them you can chose what to read. I can tell you that this will be an interesting journey I am embarking on. There are going to be two options for an outcome. I will either be very successful in this or I will fail at it. Failure is not a bad thing. Without failure we would never learn new things. I can admit when I have been defeated, but I don’t intend on having to do that with this journey. I can tell you there will be ups and downs, but it will be a fun ride.

Rules To Meeting The Parents

Meeting the parents can be scary, but it can also be exciting at the same time. Meeting your significant others parents is a big deal. Most people don’t tend to introduce the person they are dating to their parents until they are sure about the relationship. There are exceptions to this, but most of the time meeting the parents is the next step in the relationship. If you have made it this far congratulations!! Meeting the parents means that you are an important person in your significant others life and so they want to introduce you to the other important people in their life. Sometimes meeting the friends is more important than meeting the parents. If that is the case then these rules can be followed as well.

Here are a few simple rules to help get you started:

1.       Don’t freak out! Yes, it can be scary, but concentrate on the good things not the negative what if situations. Keep reminding yourself that your significant other wants you to meet them so they think that you are ready and it is the right time. Also remember that they don’t know you either so the parents will be just as nervous as you are.

2.       They want to meet you! This is a big one to remember and yet most of us forget this part. The parents want to get to know the person that their child is crazy about. Up until this point they only know you through what your significant other has told them. There is also a chance that your significant other has not told them anything so this is the opportunity for the parents to get to know you.

3.       Ask questions! Your significant other is a well of knowledge for you. This is your opportunity to learn as much as possible so you don’t go into this situation blind. Some good things to learn are what topics to stay away from. What their interests are so that if you share the same you will have some topics to talk about. Found out if there is any drama that you will need to stay away from. The last thing you want to do is put your foot in your mouth.

4.       Use basic manners! If you have perfect manners then great, you can skip the rest of this and go onto number five. The most basic manners are please and thank you. The issue that I have is not my please and thank you, it is swearing. I am a lady, but I tend to swear like a sailor. I know this is not a good thing and I need to be better about it, but around the parents it is a no no. Make sure to be respectful even if someone else is not. Extra brownie points if you offer to help, mothers love that.

5.       Know your audience! Two topics to stay away from as a general rule are politics and religion. If you know before hand, ask questions, that you share the same religious background or have the same opinions about politics then it is ok. Religion and politics can start a heated conversation, so if that is what you want then talk away.

6.       Be yourself!! This is the most important rule. Do not try and be the person that you think they want you to be. If you do this then you will come off as fake. Your significant other fell for you, not someone else. Let your personality shine through. If your significant other told their parents about you then they will be excited to meet YOU.

The best advise I can give is to go into the situation with an open mind and always be respectful. If you are relaxed and be yourself, I am sure their parents will fall in love with you as your significant other did.

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I just recently met my boyfriends’ parents, this Thanksgiving, and I can say that I was nervous, but I followed these rules and it went great. I can say that I wanted his mom to like me because he is close to his mom, but I didn’t change the way I did things, well I did not swear so for me that was a positive good life change. In my opinion things went really well, but just to make sure I asked my boyfriend and he said his mom liked me. I hope this helps you get through a scary situation.

Please share any rules or tips that would help others. The whole point of this is to share knowledge and help others get through life. Life can be hard so even a little help can make it easier.  

Welcome!

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Welcome to my first ever blog post!

I guess this is the part where I have to convince you why you should read my blog and take the time to keep coming back and reading it. I am not going to do that. What I will do is tell you what I am going to be putting in my blog, why I am writing it, and things that I am passionate about. If you find that you like what you see and want to keep reading then I invite you to come along for my journey.

I honestly have been thinking about writing a blog for three year now and am finally taking the jump into the unknown and doing it. There are a few reasons why I have been hesitant, but the biggest one is that I figured people wouldn’t care what I have to say. Over the years I have come to realize that is not the case. My friends have always come to me for advice. I never really thought about that as being significant, yet it is. They keep coming back to me for advice because I never tell them what they should do in any given situation. I am the person who will give you both sides of the situation so that you can make a clear educated decision. Most of the time we are unable to see another side of a situation or someone’s point of view. I have been there before and had a friend tell me I was being crazy because of whatever reason and then I have to take a step back and realize I was being crazy. If I had not proven to be someone to take advice from they would not keep coming back to me. There are times when they get frustrated because I would not make a decision for them, but in the end they are happy I did not. I could never tell someone what to do with their life, because I do not live their life. I do not have to live with the decision that is made, they do.

This blog was started as a way to share knowledge that I have. I do not know everything about everything, but the things I do know are significant and I know there are some people who will be able to relate to the things I have been through and will go through. I want people to be able to learn from my “mistakes” in life. I don’t really consider them mistakes though, because they have made me into the person that I am today and I love the person that I am. I will talk about life, love, and how to make the most of it. Some things I have been through and will write about:

  • My mother had a chronic illness and died young, but she taught me the best lesson about life in the world.
  • My father was not really a part of my life. To me he is a stranger, but we have been talking a little recently. I have the opportunity to learn why and who he is if I take the time.
  • I have been married and then got divorced, but I was able to find myself again through years of self-evaluation. I learned a lot of life lessons from this one.
  • I have had hip dysplasia for all of my life, until last year when I got a hip replacement. I had been in pain every day of my life until recently, and even still it comes and goes, but I will explain more later.
  • I found love again in the most unique situation and I can say I have never been happier in my life.

Some things that I am really passionate about are my friends and family first and foremost. I would not be the person that I am today without all of the amazing people in my life. Even the not so amazing people that have come and gone out of my life made me the person that I am. I have had the pleasure of making friends from all different types of backgrounds and who have all lived different situations and from that I have learned so many things about life. I have been blessed to grow up in such a beautiful place and I enjoy going out and seeing new things and just enjoying nature. I live near the beach and when I am having a bad day going down there and just listening to the ocean waves is so calming. Some of my hobbies include video games, crocheting, reading, and playing with makeup. I am a cosmetologist and I am always either doing someone’s hair or their makeup. Cosmetology is something that I love doing, but never got into doing professionally, but I will explain more in a later post.

So to wrap this up. My blog was started as a way to share my experiences and hopeful help someone learn from my past or just learn about life from a different prospective. If you have made it this far THANK YOU so much for sticking with me. My promise to you with this blog:

  • My posts will be unfiltered
  • I will never lie to you, even if it comes at my own embarrassment. Everything is a life lesson.
  • I will not sugar coat anything. I will always tell you like it is.
  • I will do my best to be consistent with posting, but life does happen.
  • Hopefully this blog will be entertaining to you.

My final thought I will leave you with: every connection, big or small, has an impact on our lives. Who knows maybe in reading my blog you will find something that will help benefit your life.

I would love to get to know you or what you are interested about hearing so comment down below!

With Love,

Crystal

*The picture represents life, difficult at times, but so worth it.